Yeah this one right here goes out to all the baby's mamas, mamas
mama's mamas, baby mamas' mamas. OutKast!
So pregnancy and labor are done. The hard part is over, right? HAHA! Yeah right. Buckle up because that was child's play. The hard part has just started. Welcome to Parenthood!
My labor was exactly what I planned and pictured. It was great! The short hospital stay threw a little wrench in the experience, but it wasn’t horrible. It wasn’t until we got home that the wheels came off for me.
We arrived at the house, snapped the mandatory *we're a new family of three in front of our house* picture and walked through the door into our new forever. My parents and sister arrived and they held the baby while I showered. They brought food, so a 30 minute visit was okay! And then it was naptime...because hospital...beeping...interruptions...tired.
Babies are perfect that first day/night. All they do is sleep and you think, "I got this, I'm a pro" and then bam...they realize they're not in the womb anymore and you get a serious dose of reality!
Our first night home, Coralie was super fussy...wouldn't sleep in her bassinet, so I was holding her on my chest sleeping...I know, I know, babies should always sleep on their backs in their own space (crib/bassinet), but we were desperate and tired. And I was getting REALLY warm and then started freezing. So cold I was shaking and couldn't get warm. And I realized that this couldn't be good for her because her body temperature was adjusting to mine with skin to skin contact. So, we got up and I took my temperature. Super fever. I wrote down 103, but I think it was officially documented at 101. Basically I was dying!
We called the midwives and went in at 3am to get checked out. I was positive I had mastitis already. I had fever and chills, felt like I'd been hit by a mack truck, I just didn't have the breast redness or tenderness. A 3am wake-up was actually good because I wasn't sleeping anyway and it got me out into the cold, which made me feel better with the fever. And getting checked out and talking with the midwife eased my mind that I wasn't actually going to die. The midwife confirmed that everything was healing up well and I didn't have any pain, so she just said to take Tylenol and rest. She asked why they hadn't given me two rounds of antibiotics in the hospital. "I don't know lady??? I'm not a doctor?" And let's flash back to that time.
In the hospital after getting stitched up, when the nurse was putting the big needle in my hand for the antibiotic and whatever else I might need...just in case I started to code and they needed to pump me with something fast...she happened to be sniffling. Which I didn't notice at all... Except she said, "Honey, just so you know, I just have the sniffles, I'm not sick." Ohhh, okurrrr. Famous last words! Yes ladies and gentlemen, she was sick! And I got it on day 2-3 of being home from the hospital. Full blown sneezing, blowing my nose, coughing, etc. With stitches, this is rough stuff! I eventually learned I could sit on the lid of the toilet to blow my nose so my lady parts wouldn't explode. At least it wasn't the stomach flu. Little blessings!
Back to my 3am appointment. We left and because we don't have any over-the-counter drugs in our house, oils only, we had to stop at Harris Teeter at 3:30am to get Extra Strength Tylenol. Stubborn me didn't want to take the Tylenol, but fever and death and infection ruled out. Kevin ran in and I sat in the back seat with the baby and the doors locked because someone could kidnap us...right? They'd know we had a new baby and get me this one time... Then back home we went.
The next morning, a lady showed up to prepare my placenta for dehydration. Remember I said in the last post that my placenta was packed up for encapsulation? Well, I went with Doulas of Raleigh for this process. They meet with you a few weeks before you go into labor to give you the BBP bag and materials (you're transporting an organ/body part). Then when you deliver the placenta, you pack it up in gallon size ziplocks and put it in the provided cooler to take home with you. You refrigerate it and they come the day after to deep clean and sanitize your entire kitchen and then dehydrate the placenta. The cleaning and preparing the placenta for dehydration happened the first day. The dehydrator ran for about 24 hours and the following morning, the same lady came in to put the placenta into pills. I then took these pills until they ran out to combat the crazy and the sad and the WHAT?? because all of my hormones were delivered in the placenta at birth. I picked Doulas of Raleigh because they come to your home to do it and you transport your own placenta. This was a plus to make sure I was ingesting my own placenta. And they clean your kitchen. Awesome! And they're super nice for a reasonable price!
There's not much research that says if this does or does not work to help postpartum, but I have friends that told me they didn't feel like themselves for 6 months to a year and I went through a rough bit, but I felt like me in about 3 weeks to a month post birth.
I know this is strange for some people. I didn't eat my placenta in a milkshake or sit down and cut it open like a steak, so it wasn't THAT strange to me. Unfortunately with my fever, I couldn't start taking it right away, so I didn't start until about 5 days after it had been encapsulated. For the first 3 days I took 2 capsules, 3 times a day. Then I reduced to 1 capsule 3 times a day. About 3 or 4 days into that bit was my worst day just feeling hopeless and crying nonstop. The doula suggested I either stop all together and give it a few days or increase my dosage. I decided to increase and felt good past that point! I did reduce to taking 1-2 capsules a day until they were gone, but I can't remember when I did that. At some point I forgot to take a pill and it just organically reduced on it's own. Towards the end, I didn't want to smell the capsules, so I'd try to swallow them before I could smell them. They suggest you take them with orange juice and that helped!
Also props to you women who have had C-sections! I was advised not to go up and down the stairs more than once a day just to help with healing. Mind you, I was never in pain. I did walk, get in and out of bed, and the car, and sit VERRRY gingerly because who wants a stitch to rip? But in general, I was good and still it was hard! I can't imagine what measures I would have gone through if I couldn't lift or get out of bed easily.
No one tells you how hard it will be to trek with your newborn to the pediatrician on day 2-4 of life. Because I delivered at Baby & Co., they came to see me at home the day after we got home. They checked me out and checked out Coralie and weighed her, did a toe prick for some test, checked her hearing, etc. It was so nice to not have to leave the house, especially because we had been running around town at 3am and I was still feverish. However, that afternoon, we had to take her to the pediatrician to be seen and I was a hot mess express! No make-up, sick, sweats, feeling all of the emotions and tired! It was hard! I was so thankful for no judgment from the doctor and office staff. I'm sure they see a LOT!
And that evening the visitors started! Don't get me wrong, we were so thankful to have your home cooked meals. Feasts of food prepared with love! And if you stopped by to love on our girl, congratulate us, bring the cutest clothes, etc., we really appreciate it. But it's HARD to have visitors when you're so tired and learning to care for a tiny human! I want to apologize to all of the friends I've visited post baby before we had our own! If I stayed more than 30 minutes, I'm SOOOO SOOOO sorry! Please know if I could have a re-do, I would! (Also, if you didn't know, sometimes I feel like I don't understand social ques very well. I never know when to leave someones house and it gets awkward. If I ever outstay my welcome, you can ask me to leave. It will probably hurt my feelings, but otherwise I kinda just keep hanging around. It's weird, I know, I'm sorry!)
So here comes the advice part and the secrets into the parts they don't tell you about what happens after birth.
There are baby blues and there is postpartum depression. I think everyone gets baby blues. Again, your hormones are delivered in the placenta, so your body is wrecked! I cried! I cried a lot about everything! I'd cry about crying. I'd cry because she was beautiful. I'd cry because it was sunny outside. I'd cry because I thought I was crying too much and had depression and was an unfit mother. Everywhere we went until the end of December, I would cry before we'd leave and say it was stupid to even try to go...we were fools for going out into the world with our baby, we should just stay home. I'd cry the entire ride there. Why did we even leave the house? It was too hard! I'd cry when we arrived to said destination. Are we crazy? We can't go in there. Let's turn around a go back home. This is apparently normal! You're exhausted, sleep deprived and shell shocked. Crying is okay! When the crying continues on and on weeks and months after delivery is when there's a problem. And it's okay to seek help! I was convinced before Coralie was born that I would have postpartum depression. I claimed it in our 2nd or 3rd trimester group visit and we all talked about it. I knew out of everyone, it would be me. And when I was living it, it was HARD! There were a few nights I convinced myself that I was the worst mommy ever and that Kevin and Coralie and the world would be better off without me. I would never hurt myself because I'm too scared to, but those feelings were real! But, through reaching out to friends and (I believe) taking my placenta pills, I was feeling like myself soon enough! 3 weeks post birth was my first solo outing with Coralie and by 6 weeks, Kevin and I both were feeling better about deciding to have a baby. You turn a corner, I promise!
I had many emotions during this time. The strangest was I was annoyed by everyone and everything! I'm still working on this, but it's much better than it was. I would get angry that people wanted to see MY baby. I didn't understand why I couldn't rest and why people wouldn't leave me alone. It was strange and some of the things I was annoyed about didn't make sense, but it was real.
There is power in mommy friends! About 2 weeks after she was born, I was just feeling it and I reached out to my crew for encouragement. I was TIRED and tired of crying and I was feeling overwhelmed. I was anxious about Kevin going back to work. Like fearful that I couldn't keep our baby alive by myself and I needed some support. (There is something called Postpartum Anxiety and I didn't have that, but about 10% of new moms do and that's okay too, you can get help for that! Then there's Postpartum obsessive-compulsive disorder (PPOCD). About 30% of new moms have this. Postpartum psychosis and Postpartum Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (P-PTSD) (about 9% of new moms have this) and you don't hear much about them.) If you have a constant state of dread or are having serious fears about things that are not likely to happen, seek help. If you're having obsessive thoughts about harming your newborn, seek help! If you're hallucinating and feeling violent/suicidal feelings, seek help! If you're having flashbacks and nightmares on vivid replay of your traumatic birth that leads to panic attacks or not being about to sleep, seek help!
During this time Coralie wouldn't sleep during the day unless she was held and I was exhausted! WOW! Having a group of people that know what you're going through and have lived it is so powerful! Seriously, the day after texting my crew, I was like a new person! It was as if texting the group and learning that I wasn't crazy fixed me. Find your people and get them on speed dial (text)!
Sweating. No one tells you this, but you may sweat. There was no *might* for me. I woke up drenched every time, like the entire bed soaked and my clothes could have been wrung out! Again, hormones. No one told me I might sweat. I started my journey at home with a fever and the nurse cold, so I thought that's why I was sweating, but then it continued! I'm telling you this because I had forgotten that I was sweating every night. It passed and totally slipped my brain...except I wrote bits of this post at like 1am and 5am and 3am in the weeks after birth so I wouldn't forget. Now you know. You might sweat. It sucks! It will pass!
Getting the baby to sleep. Because when the baby sleeps, you can sleep. As I write this now, Coralie is sleeping from about 8pm-7am, so I've forgotten how tired I was, but it was serious for a hot second! I totally recommend reading The Happiest Baby on the Block and do it BEFORE the baby comes, but have it handy for a refresher! I didn't do this! I didn't even learn about it until 2.5 weeks after she was born. Then I had to wait for it to be available at the library. Then I had to read it in my spare time, which was in the middle of the night when I was up for a feeding or she wouldn't go back to sleep, so no one was sleeping. It's seriously the most helpful book! It starts the whole book with the following:
"While working on the child abuse team at UCLA, I saw babies who were severely injured--even killed--for the simple offense of crying. But please don't think the mothers and fathers who hurt their babies were mean, terrible people. For the most part, they were just exhausted and stressed-out young parents who cracked under the strain of their baby's unstoppable shrieks."
This was so encouraging to read! While I never hurt Coralie and
would never, it was nice to see in print that I was not alone when it came to the desperation of a screaming baby.
The book basically says there's no such thing as colic, that you can get them to sleep with 5 S's. Sooth/suck, swaddle, side lie, shush and swing (or sway or something about movement). Ya'll it works! She had 3 nights when she just screamed for hours straight (before I read the book). But in order to diagnose colic, you have to have a baby that cries for 3 hours straight at least 3 nights a week for 3 weeks in a row. That was
not gonna happen in my household. So, I tried the 5 S's and dog-on-it if she didn't start sleeping! Oh, and there's nothing you can do for colic, so you need them to scream for weeks to prove they have it and then...awesome, you have a colicky baby and nothing to do to help them. Fun! READ THIS BOOK!
The Happiest Baby on the Block also compares new parents to Navy SEALS. Apparently they train to endure sleep deprivation and are blasted hours of audio of infants crying. My rebuttal is those SEALS didn't also have to breast feed those "crying infants". Throw in some leaky boobs and then it's apples to apples. (No offense to SEALS...I'm sure you're really great!) The message is: being a new parent is torture! I was in a program with Blue Cross and Blue Shield where I talked with a health coach every few weeks while I was pregnant. One of the last phone calls, the nurse asked me to tell her what I knew about shaken baby syndrome. I said, "Well, it's bad. You should NEVER shake a baby. Do we really have to talk about this? I mean, do you really have to tell people not to shake their babies? That's horrible!" and this started our brief conversation on it where she ended with, "it's always okay to put a crying baby in a safe place and walk away." I thought *not me*. WOW! That conversation came back to mind so many times in those first weeks. I would NEVER EVER hurt my baby, but there was one time specifically that I picked her up out of her bassinet when she was screaming and I thought *I could just pop your head off and you would quit crying*. It's amazing the lung capacity these tiny things have! And then a wave of love washes over you and you just want to do everything in your power to stop their tears.
There was one day when she was eating about every 10 minutes and my boobs had nothing left. Like, there was nothing there and it was so painful. (She sucked for 350 minutes her second day of life...almost 6 hours and I know moms whose babies have gone longer.) I was frustrated and I was crying and upset at her and I passed her off to Kevin because I didn't know what else to do. She was crying and he raised his voice in frustration and I said, "Please don't hurt her." He was never going to hurt her, but I was thinking about how frustrated I was and how I could have hurt her (which was why I handed her off) and I begged him to give her back to me because if he was going to hurt her, I was going to protect her. Again, lack of sleep can make you go insane! Don't hurt your baby, ever. Period! Please! If they are fed and have a clean diaper, you can put them down someplace safe and get some fresh air and a new perspective!
Or take the baby outside. The change in scenery and the blow of the wind or a bird chirping can stop their crying. Day or night we've gone on a walk to try something new and stop the crying. I even did this yesterday when she was whining and I didn't know what else to do to make it stop.
Babies are noisy! I'm not talking about the typical crying. I'm talking about those first few months when they're chatting away in their sleep. Who knew they did this? It was right when Kevin was going back to work and we were trying to establish some sort of routine that this became THE WORST! I was allowing myself to sleep from 9/10pm-9/10am. Giving myself 12 hours to sleep, knowing I would only get 6 or 7. In the mornings after the first feeding, I'd get back in bed and Coralie would start with the noises. I was getting up every minute to make sure she was okay because she kept talking and each time she was asleep. What up with the chatter? Eventually I was able to tune out the "unimportant" noises or she stopped them, but for awhile it was maddening. My best advice to you: get a noise machine! Not only does it help baby by mimicking the noises in the womb for their best sleep, but it helps mom and dad drown out the nighttime "talking". And don't be surprised if you begin hearing phantom baby noises throughout the day. I swear this child can scream without moving her body or opening her mouth. The worst is when you're someplace in the house and can't get to them right that second (like the shower) and you just know you hear them screaming...are they screaming or are you slowly going crazy? One may never know.
Boobs leak. See, maybe I'm just naive. I registered for breast pads, so I was prepared. I guess I just thought that milk would only come out when she was attempting to get milk out...and that maybe a drop or two would come out and so you needed the pad to prevent your clothes from getting milk on them. WRONG! Even now I wake up to wet shirts because a boob has been leaking all over me and the bed. (Now is a great time to recommend you buy a waterproof mattress cover! The good ones are expensive, but I'd buy it again today, it's so worth it! I got ours from Mattress Firm for just under $200. It goes on just like a fitted sheet and it has saved our mattress from my water breaking, the night sweats, baby spit up, poop and pee, and all the leaky milk! Get yours before the baby's here! You won't be sorry!) I have friends that wear bras and breast pads to bed. That is not me! I was in t-shirts at night and topless during the day for weeks. My books leaked and that was a-okay because they weren't bound up. When they're heavy and engorged and warm, you just want to be free...well, I did. So, get ready for all the dripping of milk when you least expect it! Warning, it's a little oily and sticky. So strange! A
haakaa is a great new-ish invention that suctions onto your boob and can collect the dripping milk. Get one. They're awesome!
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| Do you see those milk stains? |
Speaking of heavy, warm breasts...there were so many nights I'd wake up thinking Coralie was in the bed with me and I'd rolled over on her. I talk in my sleep and was sleep walking pre-baby, so maybe it was part of that subconscious, but this was a real thing! There were so many nights I said to Kevin in the night, "don't roll over on the baby" as I was making sweeping swimming motions with my arms trying to "find" her in the covers. He'd check the bassinet and tell me she was safe and to go back to sleep, but this was a SERIOUS thing! The sensation of them being on top of you is too real! I still do this occasionally. When you're that tired in the first few weeks, you could accidentally fall asleep with baby in the bed and I was so fearful this would happen! There was also a bit about me being scared the fan above the bed would fall on us. This was part of my sleep episodes pre baby and just hasn't let up one bit. Don't be alarmed if you do this too! Many of my friends have claimed to have "lost" their baby in the sheets too!
Breastfeeding is HARD! Breast is best. We know that and I always planned to give my baby the best nourishment possible. We were told that it was hard. Our breastfeeding class said to stick it out for two weeks at least, that it would get better and I still had no idea how hard it would be. I am still breastfeeding and plan to go until she's at least a year old, if I can. However, if you can't, formula is OK! Your job is to make sure your baby lives and thrives and if you can't breastfeed, that's okay! I have numerous friends that are pumping exclusively and bottle feeding! I have friends that are breastfeeding. I have friends that didn't produce enough and formula feed. It's okay! But there can be pain and some infections that go along with breastfeeding. Mastitis and yeast infections and thrush and leaking and breast pads and nipple creams and ointments for your boobs. It's a whole production! And it's really easy to feel like a machine or like everyone wants a piece of you and to lose your identity when you become a milk factory! Men, do NOT try to touch your lady's boobs during this time. You might pull your hand back and realize it's a stump! But seriously, the body is so cool! Breast milk is a mixture of blood, water and fat...the body takes those things and makes milk. And the way it fights infection is so crazy cool! If baby is sick, their saliva introduces the sickness to my body and I start fighting it off and then return those antibodies back through the saliva to the baby. If I'm sick, same sort of thing. They say if you breastfeed, the baby has a higher chance of not having breast cancer and I have a smaller chance of getting breast cancer too the longer I breastfeed. So awesome!
With breastfeeding comes hunger! You're burning so many calories and you need to replenish them. I remember nighttime feeds when I was so ravenous! I'd have cheese, an apple, wheat thins or a chocolate pudding and Gatorade or coconut water and a lactation cookie. Like a full meal! A friend made me the best lactation cookies. Like, so good! I recommend making some before you have the baby so you have some middle of the night snacks!
And then there's the "normal" stuff. You popped a baby out of your who-ha, so it's probably going to bleed. Take my advice and go home with every last thing that's not bolted down in your hospital room. Those mesh biker shorts underwear are THE BOMB.COM! But, can only be used stylishly when you have the waterproof puppy pad folded in thirds the long way and tucked inside them. Add an ice pack if you choose in the early days! The hospital's ice packs get cold, but aren't wet. Genius! Also...I made padcicles (pads soaked in water and frozen, that I added essential oils to). The problem was water melts and I'd be sitting around with a wet tush and that was more uncomfortable than not using the ice in the first place, so...yeah. The peri bottle is awesome! Hot water splashed up on my undercarriage was delightful every time I went to the bathroom.
Don't be scared about that first poop! Man do they scare you! I pooped the day after birth and it was just any old regular poop. One drop of peppermint essential oil in the toilet before you have to go helps too!
Also, maybe TMI, I didn't have trouble with peeing my pants post labor, but I have pooped myself twice now. Don't trust a fart. You've been warned! RIP underwear! This is real life!
The hospital made me take home some "supplies". I forgot what they are now because I didn't use them...maybe some skin numbing spray or something with witch hazel. I'm sure I paid a pretty penny for them, but I passed them off to a friend. I didn't use a stiz bath or a donut pillow or anything, but I wore those mesh underwear like they were off the runway and the puppy pads were lifesaving. Kevin occasionally dropped one drop of essential oil (Frankincense and geranium) down my butt crack to help heal my stitches, but that's it. I didn't spray anything up there or put anything on my vagine or tush.
One of the midwives encouraged me to get as much indirect sunlight on my area as possible to allow everything to dry out some and help with healing. I was able to do this once or twice and the puppy pads allowed that to happen without my house looking like a murder scene. I also put on those lovely depend panties that I talked about last time, once. This is NOT the time to wear those. You want your area to be able to breathe and not be bound up! Oh dear Lord the smell of death! It can only be compared to the smell of your sweet angel baby's horrific poo when it leaks out of the diaper all the way up to her neck! Fun times ahead!
If you're never passed a clot, that could be scary! I had clots with my period, so this was normal for me. My nurse in the hospital said if the clots are bigger than your fist, it's a problem. Otherwise, it's fine. Some of those big ones can be really frightening!
We also used those puppy pads as changing pads for Coralie the first 2-3 weeks. Because she was in our room in the bassinet, it was so much easier to change her on the bed and go back to sleep than walk to her room to do all of that.
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| Thank goodness we put this down! |
The worst morning for us was 5 days after she was born. Kevin had a chiropractor appointment and we had some errands to run, so I woke up with him to ride along. I sat in the back with Coralie and off we went. First was the chiropractor (where I stayed in the car with the baby). Then we had to stop by his office to pick up a check. Then go to the bank to deposit that check. We needed to pick up something to eat for breakfast and then we had to stop by the pharmacy. Just after we got breakfast, I had a meltdown! I was so tired I didn't know what to do. And then I started getting hot and needed to remove clothing. I was starving, so I scarfed down my Bojangles biscuit, but I just didn't think I could go on. We finally made it home and we all got a nap, but I remember thinking if life is going to be like this, I can't do it!
And can we talk about celebrities? How in the world do famous people go through those first few weeks with a new baby? Anna Kournikova and Enrique Iglesias had their twins a week and a half after Coralie was born, so this was on my mind a lot. And you think about the Kardashiasn. I know, they can afford help. And they probably have a nanny and a night nurse. But regardless of who you are, your lady parts still have to heal and your breasts still leak! I was just taken aback daily by something I could not wrap my head around...how have so many women done this? Because it gets easier and you forget how hard it was...I promise! Kevin and I regularly said, "how do people have more than one?" It was just so hard!
Post baby, I looked at everyone differently. All these years have I just been surrounded by women with leaking breasts? It's like when I realized in middle school that all males had a penis and when I looked around me it was like I was surrounded by penii and that freaked me out! I had never realized or noticed (thank goodness because they were covered up) before and suddenly, they were everywhere! Same with leaky boobs! I'll never be the same!
I don't know how you have a baby at or around Christmas and not think about Mary and the baby Jesus. And as a new mom, I had so many questions. First of all, getting to Christmas Eve service was an undertaking in itself! Kevin and I sat in the chapel at Hope Community Church on Buck Jones Road and I basically cried through the entire thing. When they started singing "Away in a Manger", forget about it! Sobbing! But let's break this thing down. Mary was on the back of a donkey in the days leading up to delivery. She had Jesus in an animal pen. Was there a midwife to help her? Did Joseph hold her hand and put a cold compress on her forehead? Who cut the cord? And what did they cut it with? Did she have to deliver the placenta on her own? Did she need stitches and if so, who stitched her up? And then they spent the evening in the manager? I mean, if the hay was comfy, I would have taken a rest too, but it had to be itchy! And then did she breastfeed? If so, did her boobs leak on the donkey ride home? So many questions! So many!
Christmas was hard! I wanted Coralie to have a picture with Santa...no chance of that happening because again, tired and germs. I wanted to wear matching PJs and have a picture...finding and purchasing the PJs was the first undertaking and it really took a toll on me when they sent the wrong size for Kevin. The poor people of Kohl's have never seen frustration like a mommy with a 2 week old in tow and pajamas that don't fit daddy, but I was told by customer service we could exchange them in the store. Oh hell no! We did get a picture with the selfie stick, but it was with a selfie stick.
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| These are the best out of about 100 and they're not great. |
We didn't even have time to put our tree up before she came and then we were too tired to care about decorations, but it just made Christmas kind of come and go without the excitement of the season. Christmas Eve we HAD to get out of the house, so we drove to Cameron Village and walked laps while everyone else in the world was home being cheery!
On Christmas Day were were both zombies and it was really hard to enjoy the day. I'm going to pretend that next Christmas is her first Christmas!
I had grand ideas of what life would be like with a baby. I was going to get my life in order. I was going to have the cleanest house and everything was going to be in tip-top shape. 4 months later, I have some time when she's napping to get things done, but most days it's only what's required of that day to survive and get to the next day. Many days I feel like I've done nothing but keep a human alive and THAT. IS. ENOUGH! Have grace and patience with yourself. Be understanding of what you're capable of. And at some point, you'll have time and desire to deep clean the shower and the oven. However, in those first few weeks, all Kevin and I had the brain capacity to do was binge watch tv. We crushed
Quantico and it was a great show, but it put me on edge. I almost felt paranoid watching it and that was not a good combination with the baby blues! He also watched
Ozark and some other shows that I caught parts of. I think a combination of the haunting music and my mental state didn't make this the best-case scenario. In retrospect we should have re-watched
The Office or
New Girl or something light and funny!
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| Our "scene" for a few weeks...binge watching shows. |
Let's talk Newborn Pictures. We all want them! Those babies look so stinking cute. And I just had visions of this magical experience as a family of three. Don't get me wrong,
Dana Ashley did a FANTASTIC job and I love our photos, but dang it was hard to drag my *tired, sleep deprived, bags under my eyes and haven't showered recently* butt out of bed to get ready for the photoshoot. And we did it later than most on Coralie's 17th day of life. I can't even imagine doing it sooner. Props to all the women who have gone before me and look dynamite in their photos! That's not easy! I had NO idea the effort needed to get those beautiful pictures!
In closing, my motto for being a new parent is you just don't know until you know and then you're in and it's too late to un-know. It's a club you're not invited into and you know nothing about pre-baby, but once you're in and you do know, you can never leave. Mamas and Daddy's, you are doing a GREAT job! Keep up the good fight and raise those nuggets! Reach out to friends. Be understanding and kind to other new moms and dads. Don't tell anyone they look tired, but do stop by with a coffee and offer to wash the dishes or hold the baby so mama can nap. Just don't stay more than an hour if you can help it! And if mama is OCD like me and it would stress her out more to know you were doing a task differently than she does it (I don't let Kevin vacuum because "he doesn't do it right"), then ask how you can help her the best instead of telling her what you're going to do for her! Sometimes stopping by with a hot meal or a bag diapers means more than cleaning! And sometimes you can't sleep when the baby sleeps, or you'd never shower, get bottles washed, have a tidy house, etc. And sometimes you're tired, but you're overtired. And sometimes you want "you" time and you choose not to sleep. Whatever you do, make some time for you!
"Have a baby", they said. "It will be fun", they said. And it's awesome! You only remember a fraction of the "hard" part!
