Hearing Loss 2020

I've been told I'm a little long-winded on this blog. HAHA! That comment came from my husband. Thank you dear readers for being here, but the truth is this space is really for me. A place to document happenings in my little life and then a resource to access them later if I need (or want) to recall the details again. It helps my memory to put it all down and I never want to miss a detail...so, it is what it is. Being thorough is a Capricorn thing and here I am!

If you don't care to read the whole deal, here's the skinny: In early October 2020, I experienced sudden onset hearing loss. One day I was fine. The next I couldn't hear out of my right ear. I was told it was Meniere's Disease and through the work of my Chiropractor (after the ENT was unsuccessful over a 6 week period in restoring it), my hearing was restored. If you have been diagnosed with Meniere's Disease, I HIGHLY recommend you see my Chiropractor, Legacy Chiropractic, (if you're in the Raleigh, NC area) or find a chiropractor that uses the Gonstead technique.

If you care to delve into the whole thing, here we go...

 

I woke up Tuesday morning, October 6, with no hearing in my right ear. It felt like a cotton ball was shoved in there and if I could just swallow in an exaggerated way, it would pop and I'd be back to normal. That didn't happen and as the days went on and I tried different things to get it unclogged, I started to realize I needed to see a doctor and perhaps go on an antibiotic. I figured I must just have something stuck in there. And then I remembered that on Monday evening I was swishing with mouthwash while washing my face and trying to blow out of my nose so I wouldn't drown...life of a mom, right? And the pressure of me holding my breath and blowing out of my nose MUST have stopped my ear up. That was not true either. But I didn't know what was going on until Friday of that week. And I most likely wouldn't have learned that Friday if Thursday evening hadn't have happened.

Thursday I went to the dermatologist with Kevin in the morning and in the afternoon, was trying oils to get my ear to open up. I was sitting on Elizabeth's floor playing with her and working on it and then in the late afternoon/evening, I boiled water and put it and some oils in a mug, placed a towel over my head and breathed that in trying to help my sinuses open. Well, that didn't work and all of a sudden I was incredibly dizzy and couldn't stand up on my own. Kevin helped me to the couch. I was spinning and just knew I was going to get sick. I think I had a headache too? Not sure. He got the kids upstairs and taken care of so I could lay in silence. Closing my eyes made me spin. Opening them seemed better. At some point, I needed to go to the bathroom, but I thought if I stood up, I'd throw up. Kevin carried me and that was perhaps more horrible than if I had just walked on my own. After the bathroom, he helped me upstairs to bed and I managed to nurse Elizabeth before vomiting. I may have gotten sick another time in the night, but I knew then that I needed help the next day!

Friday morning, October 9, I started calling ENTs. They were all booked up. No one could see me. I happened to get the only opening available at the office my mom goes to for her Meniere's and hearing loss and took it. Kevin drove me and the girls and entertained them outside while I went in to assess the situation. Initially the doctor looked in my ear. I just KNEW something was blocking it and he could remove whatever it was and I'd be on my way. Unfortunately that wasn't the case and I was taken back for a hearing test. In the middle of the test I started crying. I knew what I was supposed to hear and I couldn't hear it. Next I was taken to a room where electrodes were put in my ears and sensors on my body and these terribly irritating noises were played. The test probably lasted an hour and I just lay there and cried. It gave me a headache and solidified that my hearing was gone. The sensors that were supposed to signal hearing to my brain weren't doing what they were supposed to do. I left there with a prescription for a steroid and an appointment to come back for a steroid shot to the eardrum. The doctor diagnosed it as Meniere's and everyone acted as this was commonplace when my entire world was shattered. I went back to the car to nurse Elizabeth and just cried. Would I ever hear her voice? Would I ever not be dizzy? I felt so betrayed by my body!

Leaving the first ENT visit-trying to be positive in front of the girls

Over the weekend I had long stretches where I wasn't dizzy and on Sunday night, my ear crackled and hearing returned for the evening, but when I woke up in the morning, it was gone again, so I called Monday morning to go in and see if anything had changed. There was slight improvement in me hearing low tones, but nothing significant. My steroid was refilled and I was asked to continue taking that until the steroid shot in case it was helping to improve. The "window" that most people gain hearing back with the steroid came and went for me and there was lots of disappointment. Kevin was working, but was really taking care of me and the kids full-time. I couldn't do anything I normally would. I couldn't drive because of the dizziness. I couldn't even run the bathtub with water. Hearing the sound of water running made me dizzy (and still does a year later). I couldn't bend and pick up kids. I felt really, really sorry for myself and really sad Kevin was having to care for me. I wanted to hear so badly and also kid/baby sounds annoyed me so much. Because of my hearing loss, the sounds changed and they were echoey and gave me a headache and I couldn't tell where noises were coming from. I spent a LOT of time in bed and doing my Bible Study and really prayed and poured my soul out to God. I was broken.

October 14, I went back in for a check and got the information for the "surgical procedure" that would take place on Friday. It was then I learned that two of the meds I was supposed to take before or after surgery weren't safe for breastfeeding mamas. This was frustrating too. And it wasn't an easy find. I had to research on my own, consult mamas in a breastfeeding group, call the peds to ask their opinion, call my midwives to ask what they thought. It's bananas to me that in this day and age, there isn't a consensus of what's safe for a breastfeeding baby. Crazy! Then I spent time trying to get activities together for the girls for the day I'd have the steroid shot to the ear, so that whomever was caring for them had things to do with them to help that process. I knew Kevin could handle it, but having to care for me too, I wanted to make it as easy as possible.

October 16, I woke early and got myself ready for the procedure. It was raining, which fit the mood. My mom came to drive me to the appointment. I had Kevin take a picture of me with the girls as like "my last picture" in case something happened.

"The Last Picture"

All this time, it was impossible for me to want to be around people. Communicating was hard. I felt like I was in a bubble and wanted to be left alone. It was comforting to know my mom was in the same boat with her Meniere's issues and also incredibly sad. I kept thinking this is no way to live! I can't say my faith was really challenged, but I was crying out to God to help me. I know before I was put under, I said something along the lines of "God can restore my hearing, he is capable of it and I just have to hope for my sake that he wants to." And I said something about Jesus as I was being put under and the doctor said something about needing a little bit of him and a little bit of Jesus. I don't know if he was making fun of me, but it was true. I needed his doctor expertise and I needed Jesus/God to do the work through him. In no time I was out of the procedure and on the way home. I went straight up to bed and rested for the remainder of the day, waking to pump when I needed to and then going back to sleep. Thank the LORD Elizabeth took a bottle through all of this. (Though all the milk I pumped was trashed because of the anesthesia and meds I was on.)

Post Surgery

The next day was hard. During breakfast, I heard the bass in a car for a solid hour and it just rattled my brain. No one else could hear it and it was maddening. I was ornery and wished my hearing would be taken away completely because every noise bothered me, but yet I desperately wanted to go back to "normal". I was depressed and devastated that this could now be my life and I really didn't know how I was going to learn to live like this.

I had thought about Chiropractic, but my monthly appointment was coming up in a week or so and I was just going to go when the appointment came. Ironically (and I think it's a God thing), my friend- who is wife to my chiropractor, reached out and asked if our chiropractor could adjust me. She just thought it might help and reached out on her own prompting. Of course I said yes and we worked out when that could happen. October 19 I had a follow-up ENT visit and still had hearing loss, though hearing high pitches was better. We arranged for an additional steroid shot to the eardrum be performed Thursday (Oct. 22). This one was going to be without anesthesia. I would most likely be EXTREMELY dizzy and may throw up, but the pain and dizziness would subside and I wouldn't have to have the drugs in my body and be incapacitated for a day. I also talked to the friend of a friend around this time, who had gone through a similar situation and had young kids. She had to stop breastfeeding early to take a medicine to help her condition and now has a hearing aid. I was devastated to hear this news and trying to process what that would look like for us. Could I really stop nursing Elizabeth?

That evening (Oct. 19) I was adjusted around 7:30/8:00pm. I was SO nervous to be adjusted. Worried it would make me sick. Adjustment went great. I was out of alignment on C2 and my mid-back and lower back also needed fixing. I walked around outside right afterward and then went to bed early around 8:30pm. I woke up around midnight after feeling these strange sensations like I was a plant and slowly all of my leaves were dying off from my head to my feet, a rolling motion, this smooth fluid motion of dread that went down my whole body. I telephoned Kevin because he wasn't in bed and asked him to bring me some water. Around 2:00/2:30am, I got extremely hot and cold at the same time. Sweating, but freezing. It too started at my head and went down my whole body. My gut was gurgling from as high as my heart to lower than my pelvis and I knew I had to go to the bathroom immediately. I alerted Kevin and was able to walk to the bathroom by myself. I was not dizzy, but moved very carefully to not get sick.

My system completely emptied itself and then the walls started coming in on me. I was shaking almost like I was having a seizure and had severe ringing in my ears. I felt like everything was closing in like I was going to pass out. But I did not, which was great. I also did not throw up, but got a lot of waste out of my system. I got back in bed and again had the tingling sensation moving from my head to my feet four or five times throughout the night. Around 6 or 7am, I had to go to the bathroom again. I finally ate something-applesauce and toast around 6am (having not eaten well the last couple of days). I was very emotional, crying and wanting to die and talking seriously to Kevin about if I did die my wishes for him and the girls and if this happened again, I wanted to be taken immediately to the hospital because unless I was witnessed in that state, it would be almost impossible to make anyone understand what I was going through. It was a tough night/an emotional night!

October 20, I woke up for the day feeling good in the morning. I was not dizzy and I could hear-hearing returned sometime in the night. Hallelujah! I was adjusted again the morning of October 20. I had new X-Rays taken. My head was completely in the wrong place. C1 and C2 were off, but even the vertebrae above that. My teeth did not even line up in my spinal column, some were outside of it. I was strapped into the chair for the adjustment and given a trashcan in case I got sick. I felt warmth afterwards, but did not get sick. I walked after and went for a smoothie because I was finally hungry. C1 and C2 vertebrae control so much of what I was experiencing: hearing, ear aches, vagal nerve and blood pressure (which was a mess in pregnancy, but was 118/80 in the office that day). I left there and with trepidation, got my haircut successfully-though the process of drying my hair gave me a headache. Later in the day on October 20, I could still hear and felt tired, but had no other symptoms.

I can hear! And she's cute!

I called the ENT on October 20 and told him what had happened with Chiropractic and that I wouldn't be coming in for the next steroid shot. He was shocked and baffled and I think he honestly didn't give Chiropractic that much credit, but he was thrilled for me that I could hear. He had set me up with a neurologist to be checked out and have an MRI, so I followed through with that. And had to fire the first neurologist, but had a clear MRI and saw another neurologist that confirmed everything was fine with my brain (some would disagree...haha). And I did see the ENT again for a hearing test that checked out completely normal on November 2. 

Able to care for my girls and enjoy them...priceless!

For months-until February 2021, I did daily exercises to strengthen my neck and back and hopefully help me stay in alignment and not lose adjustments so fast. I eventually started driving again and even though that was SUPER scary, I just took it one day and one trip at a time. Even now, I'm one day at a time! I keep a notebook with everything I do each day complete with bowel movements, headaches, sleep patterns, supplements I take, if I'm dizzy or not, anything that I feel might be important to trace back in case I need the record.

It hasn't been an easy road, but wow! 

It was debilitating. I was unable to care for my girls each day, basically stayed in bed a lot and slept or did my Bible study. Lots of tears! I had to be chauffeured around to appointments which meant Kevin had to care for me and the girls all day everyday on top of working full time. Those 6 weeks were some of the lowest moments in my whole life. Through the miracle of chiropractic my hearing was restored, praise Jesus! But each day since I've been reminded at some point during the day of this medical issue. Either through something with my hearing, dizziness, feeling off-balance or documenting a "good day". I am beyond thankful for the gift of sound, but months later, I'm still figuring it all out.

One of the most special pictures...able to hear my girl's voice!

I've been working on finishing this post for months and months and now June 2022, I'm in the middle of another episode of hearing loss. So, to be continued...