You might consider me more holistic, or granola...maybe a little hippie, but I did pregnancy differently that the majority of women in the US these days. It all started before we were pregnant when Kevin's cousin Sarah told us about a documentary on home births and midwifes. She sent me the information in an email and I promptly forgot about it until we learned we'd conceived and then I kept hearing folks referring to The Business of Being Born and realized we had to watch it. That solidified for me this need to have our baby as natural as possible. I always pictured having a baby in a corn field, scooping the baby up and carrying on about my day. I know that's crazy. I don't farm, I would have no business being in a corn field and I know I couldn't just carry on like nothing happened, but for me this meant being mobile in labor and it being natural...organic!
I started out seeing an OBGYN because I was scared to go with a birthing center. All of the "what ifs" were going through my mind. However, after seeing The Business of Being Born I learned that the majority of OBGYNs have never seen a natural birth. They are trained to cut and to do surgery and that's what they ultimately want to do. They may not push it every time, but they're much quicker to jump to that than to help a woman labor naturally, despite some complications. We also learned that most babies in the US are born at certain hours in the day. I can't remember those hours now, but it's basically when shift changes at the hospital are happening or at the end of the day, when the doctors want to go home. If labor hasn't progressed, the doctors insist you need a c-section. It's done and everyone goes home...well, they do, you're left to recover after a major surgery.
Pregnancy isn't a sickness. It's a wellness. There's no need for drugs or to be laid up in a hospital bed. A life is growing in the womb and then coming into the world. It's a positive thing, not a negative, scary thing. It's amazing to me that some women schedule their c-sections. No judgment here, you do you (this post is to encourage those that want to go the natural route), but you have to realize that this is a newer thing in our society. Women have been having babies for thousands of years and surgery is a convenience (and puts money into doctors and hospitals pockets). Making women think they need to be in a hospital is a new thing too!
I had to convince myself some as well! I dated the OBGYN and Baby & Co. at the same time until I felt comfortable dumping the OBGYN. It was around the time we were asked if we wanted to do genetic testing (and we didn't want to) and I was asked 3 separate times during the appointment if I was sure. It started when the phlebotomist asked me to sign a piece of paper. When I asked her what it was for, she couldn't tell me...had no idea. So I refused to sign it. This sent us back to the waiting room and prompted the doctor to come out and say there was no point in me having an ultrasound if I didn't have the genetic testing bloodwork to back it up. Which made me angry, because I was told the appointment was for an ultrasound, not for genetic testing. We were finally allowed to have the ultrasound, but then the doctor put me in a "holding" room after to check in with us and make sure everything was okay because "everyone does genetic testing". I knew we were keeping the baby regardless and it wasn't something we were interesting in knowing and I just knew that wasn't a good fit for me. Nevermind the cost of those tests (and the doctor probably got a kickback).
Baby & Co. (a birthing center) does risk women out based on certain symptoms that could lead to complications, and I thought I might have some qualifiers, but I learned that I was a healthy pregnant lady and I could deliver there just fine, so I committed to them. We had an appointment each trimester along with a group visit where we sat down with other couples and a nurse or midwife to talk about what was going on that trimester and what we might expect. I believe it was that first group visit when I learned about Ina May Gaskin (the mother of midwifery) and decided I wanted to read her books. I was only able to read one: Birth Matters, but in that book, I learned so much and it further solidified my desire to deliver naturally.
Of course, I'm crazy (according to society) to even think I wanted a natural pregnancy and so I kept the fact that I was delivering at Baby & Co. from most people. I'd end up saying "my doctor says...or the nurses told me...or the OBGYN thinks..." because it was easier than explaining that I was doing things differently (and to be honest, I was still a little nervous). For those that knew, I had promising facts like "if something goes wrong, Baby & Co. can get me into the Wake Med Cary emergency room faster than if I were transferred from Labor and Delivery inside the hospital" and that's true, but I needed those aces up my sleeve as we went along.
Appointments at Baby & Co. were great! I never had to undress for an exam. They'd always check the baby's heart rate, but other than my anatomy scan (which was done at Big Wake), I didn't have any ultrasounds with printed pictures or other invasive tests. (The truth is they don't really know if ultrasounds negatively affect the baby, but think the heat may not be good.) In fact, I only did blood work twice (once the morning I was in labor) and had the glucose test and Strep B swab. Otherwise, my appointments were just checking in with the midwives. I loved it because they always set me at ease! In fact, we had no idea baby was transverse until our 3rd trimester group visit and I wasn't ever examined until the day I was in labor. I had no idea if I was walking around dilated or not.
 |
| Before and after downing the glucose drink! |
Let me also say all pregnancies are different! During the time I was pregnant, I had 3 close friends on the journey with me as well and we ALL experienced different things and had totally different labor and delivery stories!
Leading up to pregnancy, I was saving every plastic shopping bag I could. I had a friend years ago that would throw up her entire ride into work every morning and I just KNEW that was going to be me, so for months, I squirreled away plastic bags and put them in my car so if (and when) we got pregnant, I'd be ready. Yes, I had some morning sickness in the form of queasiness, but no throwing up. Thank goodness!
Two of my friends are neighbors and ended up pregnant at the same time with boys (what are the odds?). They religiously walked a few miles every morning before the sun came up and did exercises throughout pregnancy. One walked around 3 cm dilated for weeks and when her water broke, she progressed to 6 or 7 cm very fast and was at 10 within a 3 hour window...only pushed for a few hours and baby was here. The other one labored for a LONG time and ended up having a c-section. So, although I'd encourage walking and being active, these two had the same routine and very different labors!
I have one friend who just had a time of it! Bless her heart! She developed PUPPS (PUPPP or PEP), a very itchy rash that starts on the abdomen and for her spread to her whole body. It's related to the liver. She tried oatmeal baths and some other remedies and I researched essential oils to help and found melaleuca was the best, so I hooked her up with that. (I only trust Doterra, so that's what she got.) Our chiropractor also got her a liver supplement and those two things helped so much! But girl was itching for months. And she was diagnosed with gestational diabetes. And at week 36 her placenta ruptured and she had to have an emergency c-section. So, you just never know what pregnancy is going to bring.
Another friend was cruising through pregnancy and all of a sudden had heavy unexplained bleeding. It ended up being hemorrhoids, but a scary situation and something I didn't deal with at all. (Not that or constipation.) Hers cleared up fairly quickly, which was good!
I passed out twice around week 30. I had been recovering from a little respiratory infection and had what felt like dried phlegm in my throat both times. I had just woken up, was laying in bed and thought, "I don't feel good" and passed out right there. Not even trying to sit up or get out of bed. I attributed both times to maybe having a slight fever or because I just have a history of passing out, but a week later, my chiropractor said my neck was jacked up and that could have been the source.
And then the rest of my pregnancy was uneventful until we learned that baby was transverse and I had to go into the hospital for a version to move baby head down. Read about that here if you haven't.
All of this to say, everyone is different. The cravings and aversions are different. The way each of our bodies reacts is different. And labor is very different for everyone. Labor is apparently different for each pregnancy, so I better get ready for something else next time!
Some things I think helped my pregnancy and through labor:
I highly encourage chiropractic! If you're in the area, Dr. John Ballam at Legacy Chiropractic is the BEST! I promote massage. I did body work with Donna Zubrod of Seven Generations Massage & Birth. Not only does she do massage on pregnant ladies, but helps those trying to conceive become successful. Through massage, she made room for baby to grow and kept me really comfortable through pregnancy. I also recommend having a doula. We interviewed a handful and really liked Donna and Sue, so I decided to do massage with Donna so we could work with her, and we hired Sue Wrasman as our doula, so we could work with her as well. And of course, I can't say enough good things about Baby & Co. My birth story was EXACTLY what I wished for and they made it possible in a setting that was fantastic! Great midwifes and nurses and staff! Seriously the best!
I also want to encourage you if you had a traumatic birth or your birth plan didn't go as you would have liked. There is hope for a different experience next time, if you have additional births. I highly recommend a doula to help and be there to coach you through. Having a previous trauma can manifest itself during labor and delivery. And there's VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). Not all doctors will assist in VBACs, but there are doctors that will and that's always an option too! In a way, I feel guilty that my labor and delivery was what I planned because I know so many women have plans that are soiled and then they are forced to make lemonade out of the sour lemons they were dealt.
To wrap it up...don't let the fact that EVERYONE births in a hospital be your guide. Listen to your gut. Do some research. And if you want a natural birth, go for it! We were made for this!
